Telltale signs that your straight boyfriend is really gay

Women, have you been dating a guy whom you’ve assumed all along is straight, but have recently started to suspect that he is really gay? It’s not as uncommon as you may think. While there is no definitive guide, there are telltale signs that may help you more clearly figure out if the guy you’re […]

Homoculture Brian Webb

IMG_3539_smWomen, have you been dating a guy whom you’ve assumed all along is straight, but have recently started to suspect that he is really gay? It’s not as uncommon as you may think. While there is no definitive guide, there are telltale signs that may help you more clearly figure out if the guy you’re with is comfortable with his sexuality, if he’s metro-sexual, or if he is really gay.

Watch your man carefully. Does he sneak a peak at other men? Gay men love to check out other men that they find attractive. If he spends more time checking out other men than he does women, then bingo, you’ve solved that riddle! Furthermore, even straight men check out other women, even if the guy is married; guys just don’t check out other guys unless they are interested.

When the topic of homosexuality comes up on the news, in a conversation with friends, or at the dinner table, what is his reaction? Most closeted gay men will have a disgusted reaction and want to change the subject immediately. They feel that if they engage in these conversations that someone will think they are gay. Straight men are confident and will gladly engage in conversations about homosexuality and stand up for equal rights. Those who don’t likely have some skeletons in their closet.

Best friends typically spend a lot of time together. Those friendships often get put on hold when a guy starts seeing another girl. If your boyfriend spends more time with his best friend than he does with you, and is willing to cancel plans with you to spend with his best friend, there’s probably something more going on. It is even more suspect if he’s crashing at his friends house on any kind of regular basis.

If you’ve been dating a while and he still seems distant or you go for days without seeing each other, and you know he isn’t seeing other women, perhaps there’s something more going on. Typically guys enjoy spending as much time as they can with their girl, unless work gets in their way.

Guys also have a high sex drive. If your man isn’t begging to watch movies on the couch, go for a romantic weekend away, or spend the night, it’s probably a sign that he’s not sexually interested. Most straight guys aren’t into emotional relationships, they want the physical stuff too, and if that’s not happening, something is definitely up.

If his sex-drive is normal pay attention to what he is into. While it not uncommon for straight guys to like having anal sex on occasion, if that’s all your boyfriend wants to do, there’s a pretty good chance that he’s into it more than just with you.

Finally, if your boyfriend pays more attention to what brand of clothing he wears, how his hair looks, and spends copious amounts of time in the bathroom grooming, then there’s a good chance he could be gay. Perhaps he could be metro, but add up all the signs from above and you’re starting to paint yourself a good picture.

If you do suspect that your straight boyfriend is really gay, don’t outright confront him. Ease into those conversations and reassure him that you support the LGBT community. If he does come out, remember this is his journey and to be supportive of him at every step along the way. In the long-run, you obviously won’t be romantic partners, but you’ll be one incredibly important piece of his life and you’ll have a friendship to treasure forever!


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5 thoughts on “Telltale signs that your straight boyfriend is really gay

  1. Paul

    I hope everyone who reads this takes it with a grain of salt. This is certainly not a scientific study of who is gay and who isn’t. There are so many variables and so many potential fallacies with this article…. don’t put too much stock in it.

    1. brwebb Post author

      You got that right Paul! It’s not scientific at all. It’s just a fun article to get people talking. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Christopher Garvey

    This is not a “fun article” — it is harmful. Not only reinforcing stereotypes and prejudging asexual men or those with low sexdrives, the article also fails to address the larger issue of dishonesty in a relationship.

    The only evidence your boyfriend is gay is homosexual activity. To suggest that “how his hair looks” is a method of discerning his preference is ignorant and damaging to sexual minority youth.

    Being prejudiced isn’t fun. Grow up.

  3. Little Bee

    My bf ask me if he’s a gay, I was so shocked then, but i have to composed myself as if nothing much important with his question…I answered him rightaway a big YES!!! After that incident i was really bothered and confused .do you think that a straight guy will ask his girl that kind of question?


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